Rajat Dutta: On feku and his degrees

(1)

The pedigree of a degree…

Now we can all agree,
that Modi’s educational degree,
is actually a class apart,
it has fonts, it has print,
it even has a glossy tint,
and looks quite a work of art.

(2)

Damodardas or Damoderdas
What did he pass, what did he pass?
Was it a subject?
Or was it an object?
Or was it some bloody awful gas?

— May 10

EIC Outrage: Kanhaiya Kumar

 

Hitlar’s reaction to Umar Khalid and Anirban’s bail

 

Rajat Dutta: On the one with 56″ chest

Yesterday I saw an ad on tv where a bunch of aspirational kids were deriding a standard 55 inch LED tv as a ‘dabba’.

I wonder what should one call a certain person whose chest size happens to be an inch longer than the ‘dabba’? ‘phugga’ (balloon)?

— March 20

Rajat Dutta: Kher and Bhagat

Hell has broken loose with an intellectual double dud,
Kher and Bhagat, the ridiculous, are now fully absurd.

From nationalism, to the army, to the historian’s craft,
Nothing escapes their attention, for they like being daft.

Understanding nothing, this dumb duo finds reason
To make obnoxious gaffes in each and every season.

With Kher and Bhagat as the bhakt’s dedicated thinkers,
Shaktiman appears more intelligent even in his blinkers.

— March 20

Rajat Dutta: Anupam Kher…

Many many years ago Samson had all his strength in his hair. One haircut and poof…

Many centuries later a child was born. They named him Anupam Kher and it was noticed that his mind was in his hair.

Then he lost all his hair…

— March 19

Rajat Dutta on Anupam Kher

The bald blunder
did thunder
why welcome people on bail?
Did he forget?
That Amit Shah, his pet,
would be in jail,
if not for bail?

— March 19

Rajat Dutta on Bharat Mata

Suppose as a Bong I want to chant:

Bharat Mata(r) ki Jai? (literally: what goes of Bharat Mata?)

Just asking.

— March 17

 

Rajat Dutta on (Manu)Smriti Irani

Poor (Manu)Smriti Irani.

How terrible it must be to be exposed by degrees.

— March 16

Rajat Dutta: “A Bhakt’s musings”

We may have arrived late,
but our culture of hate,
you’ll see how it enforces,
on humans, and on horses
because hate is all that matters,
let Bharat Mata be in tatters.

— March 16

Rajat Dutta: Life is full of small and big ironies.

Life is full of small and big ironies.

For instance, I’d never thought I’d see a horse being flogged so mercilessly by an ass.

And I’d never thought I’d see a dog loving minister letting this go to the dogs.

— March 16

Rajat Dutta: Sridition

Now, on a lighter note.

What has happened on the Yamuna flood plains over the last three days is a new type of anti-nationalism.

It’s called Sridition!

— March 14

Rajat Dutta: from bigotry in odd shaped shorts to bigotry in trousers

With the apparel makeover, RSS will be moving from bigotry in odd shaped shorts to bigotry in trousers.

However,

Saffron is still the colour of the season,
and for no rhyme or reason,
if a colour is not saffron,
even if it’s on an apron,
you could be charged with treason.

Rajat Dutta: Some existing terms and their new usages by the Bhakts

Nationalism: Hindutva
Nationalist: Bigot
Anti-nationalist: Left-Liberal
Freedom of Speech: Sedition
Marital Rape: Forced consensual sex
Minorities: Ghar Wapsi
Honesty: Zee TV and Times Now
Tolerance: Lynch mobs
Food: Beef ban
Subsidy: Vijaya Mallaya
High fashion: Khaki Chaddis
Art of living: Screw the environment

— Rajat Dutta

Rajat Dutta: Rashtravadi and Rashtra-vivadi

We who are struggling to save the nation are the true `rashtravadi’.

The bhakts who are trying their best to break this nation apart are the actual `rashtra-vivadi’.

— March 12

Rajat Dutta: Bhakt discourse turns away from the nation to (uri)nation

Kanhaiya’s peeing episode has suddenly turned the Bhakt discourse away from the nation to (uri)nation…

Fits perfectly into the intellectual `flow’ of their ideas, doesn’t it?

— March 12

Rajat Dutta: How did Mallaya manage to go?

How did Mallaya manage to go?
The nation wants to know.
Spin doctors at Zee TV and Times Now
Please fabricate and show.

— March 11

Rajat Dutta: Once again on the Yamuna’s Banks

Once upon a time, the banks of the Yamuna saw Krishna’s leela,
Today her verdant banks witness a bizarre circus and a mela.

Once upon a time, on her banks roamed the divine cowherd,
today unfolding there is an unbelievable theater of the absurd.

Once upon a time, the Yamuna flowed to nurture and nourish,
Today, we stand on the pontoon bridge to watch her perish.

Once upon a time, the Yamuna flowed strong, in her prime,
Today she’s drenched in a weird double `shri’ enzyme.

Once upon a time, the Yamuna flowed, bountiful and giving,
Today she’s being given an abject lesson in the art of living.

— March 10

Rajat Dutta: I’d rather be brainwashed than hogwashed.

We’ve been told that in JNU we brainwash people.

In my opinion, there are two types of mind related `washes’: brainwash and hogwash.

I’d rather be brainwashed than hogwashed.

But, that’s entirely my personal opinion.

— March 9

Rajat Dutta: King fissure

Mallya decamps with 9000 crores of the nation’s money under the very noses of this ultra nationalist goverment.

He gets the ‘good times’.

The bhakts get the king fissure.

— March 9